Follow the leader
I am not a leader.
I've known this my entire adult life. In my early 20s, I felt that leadership abilities were missing in my life and I considered doing something about it. I was nominated to a leadership course in college and I took it and got a certificate at the end and everything. But I remember my speech when I received my certificate: I shared how I had never felt like a leader because I always imaged leaders had crowds of people behind them, and when I turned around, there was no one behind me. But perhaps that simply meant that I was doing my own work my own way and that could inspire others to do the same. Could that possibly be a different type of leadership?
Now, does that sound like the speech of a leader? No, it does not.
I am a very good follower. I'm good at doing what is expected of me. I'm good at following directions and rules. I take initiative and I go above and beyond. But I go above and beyond what I know I have to do. I'm also good at working on my own. If I have something I want to accomplish, I enjoy working on it at my own pace. I have the ability to focus for sustained amounts of time on a task. I'm not a perfectionist, but I do like doing things well. However, I am no good at figuring out a big plan if it involves other people.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that I am not a leader and that I have no desire to be a leader. Not everyone can or should be a leader because, who would actually follow? Who would do the work?
I went to a conference recently where I ran into a man I used to interact with on a professional basis. I was a secretary to a local chapter of the organization that had the conference. I was an excellent secretary. I had my checklists for the events, with a timeline of when I should do each task. I created the programs and the certificates for the participants. This man would often come to the events and comment at what a great job I was doing. He wasn't the only one. I would often be complimented on how well I helped run the events. Now, a secretary is no leader. A secretary, as this man told me, is a worker bee. I am a good worker bee. That doesn't sound glamorous at all, does it? Who the hell wants to be a worker bee? Well, as a matter of fact, I do.
I'm happy to be the person behind the scenes getting work done. I have no desire to be standing at a podium, bloviating at a crowd. I don't want to be the one making the Grand Plan. Nor do I want to be the person at the head of the table who needs to run down a list of who needs to do what. I want to be the person who gets their assignment and then is expected to run off and do it to the best of their ability.
I don't need the glory. And I don't want the responsibility.
The world needs good leaders, no doubt. But good leaders are nothing without those of us who are on the ground doing the grunt work.
