ADVENTURES IN A TIN CAN: The origin story
When we found out we would have a 2-month summer break instead of a 1-month summer break, like last year, we realized we had not budgeted enough money for the extra 4 weeks. We had to rethink our holiday. We knew we would be going to Europe, like last year. The rental car (and insurance) and the hotels were expensive. What could we do to double our vacation time without doubling the budget?
"What if we buy an RV?" my Main Squeeze asks me.
Psh! What a hare-brained idea! Who would buy an RV for 2 months? Then what? We sell it? How do we even buy one?
"eBay." he responds.
After I think about it for a little, I realize that maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea. After all, an RV would be both transportation and accommodation. If we can find a not-so-expensive RV, maybe that really would be the best solution.
Buying a vehicle in Europe is not easy. My Main Squeeze is European, but he hasn't lived there in 15 years, so he couldn't buy it. However, his dad still lives there, so we would buy the RV under his dad's name. Basically, his dad would buy an RV that we would pay for and use, then re-sell it when we left.
My Main Squeeze finds a cheap RV on eBay and contacts the seller, who has a buy-it-now option. We explain our situation: that we are living in Foreign Country but want to buy the RV, and we will arrive in Europe on this day and we will go and pay for it then. We buy it. It is rather harrowing, agreeing to buy a vehicle for a few thousand euros, sight unseen. We will fly into Frankfurt, Germany, and the RV is about an hour south of that. We arrange the logistics: we will rent a car - an automatic, which in Europe is significantly more expensive than a manual, which I can't drive - and my Main Squeeze will drive us down to the RV. If we buy it, I will drive the car back to the airport and he will drive the RV, which was a manual. We could walk away from the deal if we see that the RV is not as it is advertised, but that won't be easy, since the RV already has temporary plates in dad's name to drive it north, where all the paperwork will be processed.
When we arrive at the seller's home, we look over the RV. My Main Squeeze had described it and I had seen pictures on eBay, of course. But until you're actually standing in an RV that is less than 6 meters in length, you can't get an idea of what that feels like. It's tiny. I stand in the center of the RV's 102 square meters of living space and turned around. I can touch the cabinets on both sides of the RV at once. I can walk from one end to the other in four steps. One section of the roof slopes upward, and that's the only section where my Main Squeeze can stand fully upright (he's rather tall). I don't have that issue.
The RV is 28 years old. And it looks every single one of its 28 years. We weren't expecting a beauty, but this looks like a giant tin can on wheels. My Main Squeeze opens the hood and peers inside. There is a dainty 1.9 liter engine inside. There are lawn mowers with bigger engines than that. Will that engine get us anywhere? My Main Squeeze walks over to me and speaks quietly in English:
"What do you think?"
We discuss it. The truth is, it's about what we expected. The engine is smaller than we thought it would be and it needs some loving, but we consider our situation: if we don't take it, we will have to begin our search again. We'll need to rent a car and get a hotel. We make a decision.
We take it.
The rental car has the GPS, so my Main Squeeze follows me. We are driving through small towns to get back north to Frankfurt airport. In one town, there is a detour but the GPS basically keeps taking me in circles and at one point, I lose sight of the Tin Can. This wouldn't be a big deal if our phones worked, but we cannot get access to roaming, so our phones are useless without WiFi. I find the Tin Can and my Main Squeeze in a parking lot and give a sigh of relief. We try to figure out where to go to get past this detour.
The trip continues.
Where we are is considered southern Germany, even though I think it's in the center of the country. My Main squeeze says it's south because of the hills. The further south you go, the higher up into mountains you go. So we are going up and down hills along the autobahn. Did I mention that the Tin Can has a teeny 1.9 liter engine? I am driving on the right lane, going as slow as I feel safe on the autobahn approaching Frankfurt airport, which is way too fast for the Tin Can. When we are mere kilometers outside of the airport, I get so far ahead of the Tin Can that I can't see it at all. And the GPS shows me the airport exit I need to take. I panic and take it, my mind racing with wondering how the hell I will ever find my Main Squeeze. I should have just pulled over to the shoulder with my blinkers on and waited until I saw the Tin Can, but with cars rushing by me at 100 kilometers per hour, it didn't occur to me to just stop on the shoulder of the autobahn.
We lose each other. I pull into a gas station next to the airport and we try to contact each other but our phones are not working properly, if at all. We eventually manage to call each other and my Main Squeeze tells me to just return the rental car and he'll find me. So now, I have to find where to return the rental. That information is not available on the GPS and the street signs are in German. Fortunately, I know the word for 'rental car' in German.
I finally find the parking lot to return the rental and I pull in. There are 2 other people returning cars before me, so I'm waiting nervously. The rental lot phone rings and the attendant answers it, speaking German, looking at me. He hangs up and tells me my Main Squeeze says to stay where I am; he'll come to me. I am so relieved, I want to hug the attendant.
About half an hour later, I see my Main Squeeze walking towards me. I am safe.
We take the suitcases out and walk to the parking lot where he had to leave the Tin Can. I get in to the Tin Can and put on my seatbelt as the tiny engine rattles to life.
Our adventure is about to begin.
